**Content Warning: Rape, Sexual Assault** The Bravest Woman in Ireland

I was not in the room I do not know. I was not in the court I do not know.

What I do know is the number of friends I had to contact to ask if they were okay and not suffering horrifically from the re-traumatisation of the trial.

What I do know about this case is that it is one women’s statement against four men. What I do know is that nobody would go up “against Ulster Rugby” if they did not believe they had been raped. What I do know is that only 4% of cases of sexual violence reported to UK police are found or suspected to be false. (HeadOffice)

What I do know is how eloquent the complainant spoke in one of the most “difficult trial(s) that any jury in Northern Ireland has had to sit on.” (Judge Patricia Smyth)

On the 30th of June 2016 I met my boyfriend. On the 30th of June 2016 the complainant conducted her first police interview about being raped the previous Monday. These two situations seem so unrelated but thinking back on those times all can think of is the ecstatic jubilation at being done my leaving cert, laughing with my friends and the excitement of meeting someone new. Even speculating on what this woman went through on those days is so heart-breaking to imagine.

Going onto the VSCO app I see people sharing pictures of #IBelieveHer and sexual assault statistics. These, however, are mixed in between pictures of quotes with “What a wonderful thought it is that some of the best days of our lives haven’t happened yet” and “Everything happens for a reason”. As someone who heavily believes in these mottos and ones like these, I began to wonder; What is the reason for rape? What is the reason 1 in 3 women will experience sexual assault or rape in their life? Why are 91% of perpetrators known to survivors?

And most importantly: Is there really a reason for these atrocities?

I believe the “reason” for this girl’s horrific experience and all my questions above is rape culture, toxic masculinity, lack of sex education, consent classes, male privilege, white privilege, power but most importantly rapists.

I do not see the solidarity rallies and (hopefully) change in how we deal with topics above as a “reason” this woman had to endure this. However, I do see them as one minor positive outcome to this whole trial and her whole experience.

On the stand, she said “The more I thought about it, rape is a game of power and control. They rely on your silence. The only way you take the power back is when you actually do something about it. I may be preventing it happening to someone else. It could have so easily been my friend outside Ollie’s. It could have been my sister outside. It was the best decision I made.”

This woman stood up for herself and in turn, stood up for every victim of sexual assault. Yet personally, one of the most haunting parts of reading about this trial was the near ignorance of the complainants’ existence at the close of the trial. Of course, I was shocked at the way she was treated and talked about by the defendants but truthfully, I didn’t expect anything less.  I know a lot of group chats that speak like the defendants regularly and are never called out on it because they are never normally public knowledge. Victims of sexual violence are made to feel on trial in our courts' system. Seen in the 8-day interrogation of the complainant, her underwear being shown to the court and questions about how much she drank that night.

Following the verdict, the defendants congratulated each other, wiped away tears of relief and went outside to read statements to the media. Her life is irrevocably changed yet “nobody noticed the young woman leaving through a side entrance and getting into a waiting car”.

I for one cannot stop thinking about the complainant. I wish I could tell her how moved and inspired I am by you. How you spoke for all the woman of Ireland who have been screaming for years trying to be heard. You spoke for everyone silenced and scared. Thank you.